


We’ll be alright

by BrklynVan



Category: Fine Line - Harry Styles (Album), Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom
Genre: Album: Fine Line (Harry Styles), Canon Compliant, Fine Line, Harry Styles - Freeform, Harry Styles Loves Louis Tomlinson, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, M/M, OT5, Panic Attacks, im sorry, larry stylinson - Freeform, one direction - Freeform, this is sad tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:35:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26336530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrklynVan/pseuds/BrklynVan
Summary: Louis and Harry teeter on a fine line. A fine line of devoted lovers and bitter enemies.Love and hate.| or |The one where Harry gets a call from Louis at 4 AM for the first time in almost two years and they both confront the past.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	We’ll be alright

**Author's Note:**

> ***TW- Panic attacks/anxiety, mention of blood.***

Harry stares at the white ceiling above him, pondering the last two years and what went so wrong. 

The band, the blonde, the break-up, the baby.

_Louis. Louis. Louis._

It’s all he used to think about. He couldn't picture his life without him but he knew he needs to start. 

Harry always knew deep down it would never be the same between him and Louis but he decides he will face it when he has to but not right now. 

No, for now, he will pack it down, down, down into the parts of his mind he doesn’t wade in unless he has too, but that was then.

Harry doesn't come face to face with him for another year and a half.  Sure, he’s seen him in passing or in a meeting or two, but never forced to face what he’s embraced and what Louis runs from.

A lonely, confusing, but fulfilled year passes with no communication and then he gets a call at 4 AM. 

“Hello?”

“It’s Louis.” He’s out of breath and his voice sounds hoarse to the point of pain.

Harry doesn’t know what to say so he doesn’t.

“Shit. Harry?”

“Yes, I’m here.”

This time Louis doesn’t know what to say.

“Are you ok?” Harry Asks just above a whisper because this is all too fragile. If he asks too much, says too much, it might crumble.

“Um- i.. yeah. Well, I’m-“ He’s drunk and now Harry understands.

“Drunk?” Harry asks and now he has a bitter taste in his mouth because he’s too familiar with drunk calls from Louis, but this is different.

“Are you in London?”

“I am..“

“Can you come over?”

“Louis it’s 4 in the morning..”

“Yeh..Fuck it. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have ca-“

“Louis, tell me what is going on.”

He lets out a breath or maybe a sob Harry can’t tell.

“I’m losing my fucking mind Harry.. a mental break down whatever the fuck you want to call it.” He's hyperventilating and Harry’s up now putting pants on and grabbing his keys. Louis has only ever had a few panic attacks in front of Harry.

“Okay just take a breath. Can you text me your address?”

“Fuck I can’t breathe. It’s the same.. the same as it was last time. Uh, 310 Hanway.” Harry has only been there once for a meeting with the boys. It’s a large modern home that seemed too fancy for Louis liking. More up Elanours alley.

“Ok. Louis get some water. I’m on my way like 20 to 30-..”

“Ok. Thank you. Fuck, thank you.”

Louis is the one that hangs up and Harry feels like he’s going to throw up. He tries his best to not speed, but he’s worried about what he’s about to walk in to.

He finally finds Louis's house after turning around once, passing it twice, and cussing way too much.

He’s standing at the front door pounding on it before he realizes it’s unlocked so he goes inside.

As he takes his first steps inside his foot slips under tiny slivers of glass. He looks down to see shattered pieces of mirror shimmering in the light. He walks further in to see a mahogany framed mirror laying face up in the middle of the foyer in pieces.

“Louis?” Harry practically yells at this point because what the fuck is going on.

He walks back to what he assumes is Louis's bedroom and can now hear running water.

“Lou..” The bedroom looks untouched except for the drops of blood on the white comforter still tucked neatly into the bed.

His eyes finally meet Louis, who’s standing in the doorway to the connecting bathroom, holding his bloody fist. Harry notices the bags under his eyes are darker than what they should be and his knuckles are busted with pieces of mirror shards still sticking out of his broken skin.

He looks so little and broken and Harry just wants to fix him, but he knows he can’t be the one to do that. For now, he will just fix what he can. 

Harry feels numb to this and he doesn’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing but he just wants to feel something in this moment.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” Harry walks towards him and Louis just nods and walks into the bathroom sitting down on the toilet.

There’s a bloody rag laying on the counter along with tiny slithers of glass. Harry picks up the rag and runs the cold water over it. After ringing the water out several times, he stands in front of Louis gently cleaning his tattered fist, making him hiss in pain.

“Fuck. Fuck. Mate.. mate, that hurts.”

“Stop. Stay still.” Harry takes out every slither of glass left imbedded in his knuckles and wraps it with paper towels and bandaids.

“..don’t call me mate.” Harry says matter of fact because it makes him feel like a stranger but he thinks maybe he is.

That makes Louis stifle a laugh but Harry’s not laughing. Harry _hates_ him in this moment. He thinks he hates him so much that he could walk right out of his house and not feel an ounce of guilt but he knows he’s that’s not true. 

Louis and Harry teeter on a fine line. A fine line of devoted lovers and bitter enemies.

_Love and hate._

When Harry’s finished doctoring Louis's hand he takes a step back and looks at Louis waiting for something.. anything. Louis's body is shaking and Harry can now see his eyes are puffy and wet.

“You need to lie down.. have you eaten?” Harry feels Deja Vu wash over him. Taking care of drunk Louis is nothing he hasn’t done before but that used to be fun. Drunk, out of control, punching mirrors Louis is not fun, it’s just sad.

“Yeh, threw it all up.” Harry can tell Louis is sobering up from his lack of slurred speech and rosy cheeks.

“Lay down. I’m going to go find you something to eat.” As Harry is talking Louis grabs a hold of Harry’s hand with his unbadged hand and pulls himself up slowly.

Harry quickly goes into Louis's kitchen and finds bottled water and a packet of crisps from his pantry. When he goes back into the room Louis is sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. Harry joins him and hesitantly puts his hand gently on Louis back rubbing small circles. Louis jumps at first touch then relaxes into him.

“Nothing in my life is ever fucking consistent.” Harry wants to say something but he can’t find the words.

“My dad, my mom, my sister, Eleanor, you, can’t even have a fucking friend to stay around long enough- fuck, I.. I just want something consistent in my life.” He’s crying again and Harry is too.

“I’m right here Lou.”

“You haven’t always been though, have you? I fuck it all up. I push everyone away and I-“

“Lou, please stop blaming yourself for shit that’s out of your control.” Louis has experienced too much loss at 28. Loss that is out of his hands.

“But what about the shit I can control?” He’s looking at Harry now, eyes red and wet with tears.

“.. El is done with me. She left.. all her shit is gone-she..” He tries to force words between sobs. Eleanor used to be a constant in Louis's life. Although most of the time, their relationship was off and on, she was always there to ground him and helped him through the darkest times. They loved each other, but they couldn’t give each other what they needed.

Harry doesn’t know too much about Eleanor and Louis's relationship anymore or even how much she knows about Harry and Louis's past relationship but he wants to keep it that way.

Harry takes in Louis's features, he looks like the Louis he used to know, but he knows it’s not. This Louis sitting in front of him is older, isn’t as naive nor strong as this Louis. Harry recalls when Louis started to change, when he started to feel more and more and more like a stranger, before everything went to shit. It was before Zayn left, before Freddie, before the end of it all. 

Harry and Louis would spend their nights together having sex in hotel rooms and then lovingly cuddling until Louis decided to go back to his room. He always used to stay until morning, but he was slowly pulling away and becoming someone else. Harry knew the only way to hold onto Louis was those nights, but those slowly faded away too. 

It wasn’t always just sex, feelings were deeply involved in the beginning for quite some time but as soon as they both had to confront them head-on it sizzled out to hookups, the occasional jealous argument over girlfriends, and defining what they were. They said I love you consistently but didn’t seem to know the gravity of the situation or their relationship. 

_ It was love but it was love in a complex world they were thrown into. _

“I don’t even know why I called you. I’m sorry. ” Louis finally manages to whisper between sniffles.

“I know we don’t really.. um.. we haven’t spoken in a while but I’ll always be here when you need me, Lou.” And that makes Louis's shoulders fall along with new tears down his cheek.

Louis nods and laughs sardonically. “When are you going to get sick of picking me up every time this shit happens?” Harry can’t recall the last time he came to save the day, but Louis has always done the same for him so he doesn't give him an answer. 

“I’ve been.. dealing with everything better than I was.. I’ve been in therapy again.. El came to get the rest of her things today and it uh.. It just hit me..” Harry is happy to hear he is in therapy again after detesting it for so long. Louis is strong and he knows that but some things he can’t work through by himself.

“I know its not fair of me.. to call you just because El left, but I miss you. I miss everything.” Harry misses it too but they aren't the same people they used to be. Louis used to get in fights with Eleanor and come crawling to Harry. And no, it's not fair of Louis but some part of Harry doesn't care in this moment. 

“It was my fault.. she was always so good to me but I cheated on her. I was seeing someone else and she found out about him.” Harry gets a chill down his spine at the word him. 

“So I just told her.. that I'm uh.. gay. Maybe bi. I dont..- I cant..”

“You don't have to explain Lou.” And he doesn't. Harry gets it. He struggled for years about his sexuality before letting go and not assigning any labels on himself. 

Louis looks over at Harry and Harry is trying to process everything. He thinks that although he's hurting, he's proud that Louis is confronting everything he used to deny and keep hidden away. His mind wanders to the “him” Louis was seeing. He feels guilty knowing that there are other issues more important at hand.

“I didn't love him or anything.. we were hooking up.” Its almost as if Louis read his mind and Harry nods at that, but the thought still makes his stomach turn. Louis was the first man Harry had ever been with and he loved him. Louis was a big part of Harry finding himself. For some reason, it hurts to hear him talking about another man even though Harry has been with many others now.

“I really fuckin loved you.. you know.. I did.” Louis continues and Harry feels like he could throw up again.

“I loved you too Lou. Always going to be a big part of my life.”

“I feel like I fucked you up. I was always pushing you away and then pulling you back and telling you I wanted to be with you then leaving.. I.. just I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I just want you back in my life and I.. I want us to be alright.”

“I did the same to you, Louis. We were.. still trying to figure out.. everything.” Louis nods in response and Harry continues “I would like that too.”

Harry had many girlfriends throughout the years but still ran to Louis by the end of the night, still told Louis he loved him, and still took supermodels and blonde pop stars on dates. He felt torn and pulled in every direction but somehow it was always Louis he ended going back to.

He had never felt that kind of love before, so much so that it outweighed the confusion and hurt. A few years after Louis and Harry faded out of communication and eventually even love Harry had many other lovers in between, trying to fill a missing piece that he just could find.

_ Then he met her. _

A beautiful model with golden hair and an interesting mind. Harry felt that love with her. She understood Harry, his lifestyle, and his heart. It was a different kind of love that he felt with Louis, but it  _ was _ love. However, Harry learned for the second time in his life nothing lasts, not even love. 

Now he's here with Louis on his bed comforting him. He's not surprised the universe has placed him in this very spot on a random Saturday night at 5 AM. 

_ Somehow he always finds his way back to Louis. _

Louis snaps Harry from his thoughts with a loud shaky sigh. He leans further into him and Harry thinks he can feel Louis's heartbeat. Louis looks up at Harry and stares intently before quietly asking, “can you stay until I fall asleep?”

Louis hasn't asked Harry this in years, it feels unfamiliar but takes him back to those nights he yearned for years later. Harry nods and Louis slowly gets into bed. Harry takes his shoes off, turns off the bedroom light, and lies parallel to Louis. 

The two are lying down facing each other, just staring. Harry almost fights the urge to caress Louis's face but instead lets it happen. Louis closes his eyes at the gentle touch. 

Harry keeps replaying Louis's words in his head, 

“ _ I want us to be alright. _ ”

The future has always been something so uncertain for Harry and Louis but Harry knows if they are in each other's future, friends or lovers, that they're going to be alright. 

“Everything is going to be ok Louis,” Harry says, hoping Louis is not still drowning in his thoughts.

Harry speaks up once more, barely above a whisper,

_“We’ll be alright.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiiiii thanks for reading! please leave me feedback I would love to hear what you think! xx


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